Drawing the line

Drawing the line between bending and bending until you break, that is what I am going to take a stab at. Though it may sound like its an easy distinction but when in a relationship, it really isn’t. The world is jaundiced with our obscure theoretical view of “love”.

This theoretical view of love bothers me… No, it doesn’t just bother me, it outright annoys me. People idolize and idealize love, they make you want to believe that differences don’t matter and truck loads of turd. Our literature, music and movies  ingrain this concept into us and this couldn’t be further from reality. If you hear anyone who says “Love is enough” (I am sure you will) punch them in the face if you can because this is one of those trashy lines you should just dismiss!

I think its unfortunate that people go starry-eyed and dump logic behind this theoretical love and ruin any shot they have at real happiness. When I was thinking this way, I thought maybe I am just emotionally numb but on reading Mark Manson’s article ‘Love is not enough’ I just felt re-assured that I’m not emotionally disabled. One of my favorite lines from the above article is “It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who sucks for us and our happiness.” and it hits you hard especially if you have something to relate to.

There is a fine line between adjusting and sacrificing yourself in the name of love – you’ve got to discover and define that for yourself else you’re going to be bruised through the whole relationship drill. This is one of those phases where you should dismiss what most people say because their views are tainted by the theoretical starry-eyed love. Love will not fix the underlying issues you have in your relationship. It may seem odd but I relate Taylor Swift’s line “Bandaids don’t fix bullet holes” with this thought.

You’ve got to sit down for yourself and decide where you want to draw that line between adjusting & self-sacrificing and there is no right place for it. Its what suits you the best.

An Ashamed Indian

Today for the first time in my 23 years have I felt ashamed to be an Indian. I used to be the one talking about Incredible India,  our culture and value’s, our traditions. Today I feel I have lost every right to boast about my country, society and culture after the recent Delhi gang rape case. We have seen other negative portrayal of our people and government – be it the Common Wealth Games scam or the 2G scam – we have seen it all but there was still a hope somewhere that not everything is lost. Unfortunately I doubt I can say the same today or any more.

In our Indian society when a woman is violated her skirt or high heels are blamed. Its not only lazy politicians or a laid back police alone that need a kick in their backside, the problem is much deeper and more fundamental. It is the ingrained mentality where women are not seen as equals but as mere objects that are can be treated in any way and thrown away.

This third-class school of thought unfortunately is not something that prevails amongst the illiterate or less fortunate section of the society this mentality infiltrates into the elite (by status and not thoughts) class. Our very own President’s son – Abhijit Mukherjee refers to the anti-rape women protesters as ‘dented and painted’ women. With such leaders and such ‘dented‘ thoughts where are we heading – there doesn’t seem to be a silver lining to this cloud.

Sheila Dixit ji (Chief Minister of Delhi since 1998) – I bow in respect to you – not only because you are our Chief Minister saahiba but because you have been managing face yourself and the world every morning knowing that you were responsible for this. After a 14 years of having a woman CM, the last thing you expect is the state to transform into the rape capital of the country – you are unbelievable to have achieved this. Also, if you think lighting one candle in front of the media is going to make the world think you are a concerned or sorry – then CM saahiba you are anything but right. You are and will be responsible for her murder.

Dear Amanat/Nirbhaya/Damini – whatever your name was – who ever you were. I am extremely sorry for what happened to you. I like all Indians need to be blamed – I am sorry as sorry as I can be. I am not even going to attempt to say RIP because I am not going to pretend that you are or will be at peace after what happened. Despite my ever growing guilt and desire for things to be different I CANNOT promise you that you will be given justice or something like this will not happen again. I am nothing but yet another ashamed Indian. 

Desi in Videsh – First glance at UK

Okay this post comes after a very very looong time. There has been so much on my mind and so much happening. Somehow just never got to it. Getting back to the observations of a desi in videsh. 🙂

Pursuing studies in a country which is not your home is a new experiences which both scares and fascinates you. I have been going through a similar experience myself. It is very often that what we read and expect is in fact very different from the reality.

In the east, a developed country is pictured as utopia which of course is far from the truth. They have many fallacies of their own. These countries may promise transport, health and other facilities around the clock but the quality suffers. Of course, when I talk about the quality I do not refer to the top-notch private health or transport services but those provided by the government.

The importance the British people give to issues relating to Health and Safety is commendable. Every building (at least those I visited)  have clear instructions and safety equipment installed and well maintained. Apart from the health and safety issues, the way historic buildings are maintained is something we need to learn. Another thing that took me by surprise was the number of people who read. It would be common to expect people indulging more in some games on their iGadgets which is clearly not the case.

Listing some of the first things I noticed:

People have a great taste in shoes. From boots to high heels everything is plain AWESOME!

Women wear makeup in excess! I was taken aback to see the amount of makeup women here wear on a daily basis. What a colossal waste of time and money. No, I am not anti-makeup but tonnes of it everyday is surely going overboard.

The number of RATS!!! : The London Underground is a living example of how well they treat their dear little friend.

The number of sorry’s and please’s people use : Append or prepend any sentence with Sorry and/or Please

Curry: It is actually a little amusing when you ask British people about their traditional food. After Fish and Chips you hear Curry… Curry? Really?? Makes me smile. To be fair, the curries here taste nothing like the real stuff back in the east. In fact, on several occasions I have noticed that most (if not all) curries may be called different but they taste the same. The only few things that differ are the amount and type of colouring used; the salad it is served with; and the veggies in the curry. Considering how popular curries are, London is rightly called the curry capital of the world.

To order a regular burger or sandwich can seem more like an interview. As soon as you are done with one question the next one comes straight at you. Would you like brown bread or white bread? What sauce? What salad? What meat? I think having some standard configurations would make the whole process of getting a burger much quicker. After answering all those questions you might just want to get a drink! Coming to think of it now, may be that is what the intention is… 😀

Graceful Ageing doesn’t seem to be very popular. This is a guess I am making by the number of botox’ed faces I see.

Hopefully the next post wouldn’t be too long from now.

Sometimes

 

Sometimes you just dont have any answers
  

Sometimes you just cant understand the why
  

Sometimes you just see the  ‘if’s and but’s’
  

Sometimes eveything is just such a mess!
  

Sometimes… Sometimes… 

 

‘Sometimes I wish I could turn back times, impossible as it may seem but I wish I could…’ 

 

Sometimes songs just start making perfect sense and you just dont know what to do!

 

I think this is one of those times!

 

 

PS: I know few of you would be getting exactly what I mean. But I wish ‘more people’ got the message…

And sorry for this weird post but I guess you know how I feel atleast after reading this!