Archive | April 2015

Is he Prince Charming? Maybe not!


Most women when asked about qualities they look for in a partner you hear things like smart, successful, tall, handsome, well educated, ambitious, etc. Thinking carefully about it now, I realize how none of these are important or remotely helpful in choosing a partner you are genuinely going to be happy with. 

To me the most important qualities are also the most under rated – sensitivity and sensibility. How tall or successful your partner is not help your relationship sail through if he doesn’t know how to understand and empathize. 

I believe the importance of these qualities are amplified in a family situation especially if you are a woman. In every society, tending and caring for the kids and the home is seen to be the woman’s job. With such ingrained and unspoken stereotypes it becomes more important to have a sensible man by your side. You need someone who can challenge the norm and ask himself “Does this have to be a Mommy thing” or take the backseat by saying “Mom’s are better at it”. To build a true partnership, it takes logic, empathy and coming forward to take more responsibility . 

A number of people I know are frustrated because they cannot find a partner but most if not all don’t even look to be in a relationship where you do justice to the word “partner”. A lot of times especially in Asian arranged marriages, when true partnership is discussed at the start of the relationship people ween out and say is something they wouldn’t be OK with. They tend to want that woman who comes on all those vacuum cleaner or baby food adverts on television.

Unfortunately, I have seen this hesitation or even hostility towards shared responsibility come from highly educated, well respected men in society who have dream jobs and perfect careers. At this point I can’t help but dismally wonder what will bring about the shift in thinking if education couldn’t…

My advice, if he is not sensitive or sensible  then don’t waste your time. He is one of the many toads you come across before finding your Prince Charming. Keep calm and move on…

Disclaimer : I don’t in any way mean to imply that this train of thought is only among Asian men but I don’t think it would be right to speak about other groups when I or my friends don’t have any personal experiences. 

Advertisements
Playwright Conversations

Black Playwrights, Black Artists, Black Plays

Walk The Line

Guided by Karma, Dharma and Drama!

Mahesh Nair

The Write Might

The Write Side

A little bit of this and a little bit of that!

The Domestic Man

Gluten-free & Paleo-friendly recipes, inspired by traditional & international cuisines. New recipes every Tuesday.

today was meaningful

a collection of thoughts, life lessons, and days full of meaning.

Blogging for a Good Book

A suggestion a day from the Williamsburg Regional Library

Books, j'adore

story lovers unite

TED Blog

The TED Blog shares interesting news about TED, TED Talks video, the TED Prize and more.

A Little Blog of Books

Book reviews and other literary-related musings

Scriddles

scribble doodle sketch

madamecroquette

Just another WordPress.com site

FROM THE WILDERNESS

Veritas Vos Liberabit

Freedom to Fail

An aspiring young professional with a blog

Bytes won't bite ...

Networks | OS | Games | Fun | 11111000011