Lovers and Liars

A passionate love affair. A happy young family. And a successful 30-year marriage.

But which one will be destroyed by the truth?

Sophie and her sister, Jess, grow up knowing that a few little lies are necessary: You look great. It was only a joke. He’s just stressed. It doesn’t matter. Everything’s fine.

Everybody does it, don’t they?

But what about the big lies – about love, power and money? When Sophie discovers her father’s secret, and Jess falls in love with the charismatic Jake, Sophie has to look at her own life again. Should she keep quiet or tear her family apart with the truth?

And if she tells, who will pay the ultimate price?

I picked this book for casual light-hearted reading whilst travelling to work everyday as I did not want a rather heavy subject to be thrusted upon me. The title and the prelude suggested that the book was about relationships and betrayals, in short a family drama. I expected the subject to be rather something for easy reading which wasn’t the case. This book deals with the issue of domestic abuse.

The plot revolves around a British family of 4 based in London. The family includes Paige, Bill, Sophie and Jess. Paige is the main character of this story who is the victim of domestic abuse and doesn’t realize how she has been manipulated and exploited over the years. She does everything possible to save her marriage with Bill. He is an arrogant manipulative man who has a construction business and needs to in-control of everything and everyone. Sophie is their elder daughter, who is portrayed as a typical pretty, spoilt, popular girl. She feels responsible of taking care of everyone when in reality, she is the one who needs help in taking the right decisions. Jess on the other hand is a tom-boyish rebellious daughter which is a very big contrast when compared to her lovely sister. In the book, Jess’ character has shown a great spirit in taking decisions being independent and ‘thinking of herself’ which some members in her family are unable to do.

Sophie discovers Bill and his accountant Anthea Jones are having an affair and is in a fix whether or not to tell Paige about it. She tries to convince herself that she was blowing things out of proportion and that they had developed a personal comfort level with each other due to working together for long hours. Eventually the whole family finds out about this affair which Bill manages to very conveniently defy.

Bill is someone you can hate through the length of the book. He mistreats his wife, is an alcoholic. Does all the threatening in an extremely smart manner, spies on his wife, does everything to control her, criticizes her, ensures she has no friends, etc ,etc. Poor little Paige thinks he is just ‘under stress’ because of business is in trouble. Slowly she finds out the truth behind his behaviour. The manner in which the thought process of Paige has been showcased is great. How she makes the revelation that she indeed is the victim of domestic abuse, that her husband is not merely ‘under stress’ but a fanatical control freak and liar. I believe these are the most interesting and gripping parts of the book after which the unexpectedness of the book is rather low. You seem to be in a position to guess the ending which was rather a let down to me.  Overall a good read.

Final Verdict: 3.5/5

Sarson ka saag and Makki ki Roti

For those of you who don’t know this is a famous Indian dish that is typical to Punjabi’s. Sarson ka saag refers to the leaves of the Mustard plant and Makki ki rotti is an Indian bread made out of Corn.

Ingredients:
Sarson ka saag(Mustard Greens)           1kg
Fenugreek leaves (Methi)                     250gm
Spinach                                                    250gm
Green chillies                                 3-4 in number
Ginger(chopped)                                  4tbsp
Garlic(chopped)                                   4tbsp
Salt                                                        to taste
Red Chilly powder                              to taste
Onions(diced)                             3-4 medium sized
Tomatoes(diced)                        3-4 medium sized
Oil/Ghee

One of the following depending on choice :
Turnip                                                        250gm
Baathu (Goosefoot/Fat-hen)                 250gm

Chop the Mustard Greens, Spinach, Fenugreek leaves, and one of the optional ingredients. Next, add these and ginger, garlic and salt to boiling water. Once boiled, grind it to get a green paste.

Next, in a pan heat some oil add the finely chopped onions and fry them until golden brown. Next add the chopped tomatoes and red chilly powder and cook until the oil leaves the bottom of the pan. Finally, add this to the green paste and bring to a boil. Add some extra butter or ghee before serving.

For makki ki roti mix powdered corn and wheat flour in a 3:1 propotion and knead the dough. Make sure it is not very soft as it may make the process of making the roti extremely tough. Using only corn flour (please note it isn’t cornflour that I am referring to, it is powdered corn ) would make it impossible to make roti. Wheat flour is added to help it bind better. This cannot be normally rolled using a rolling pin (belna) as it does not hold well together. You would need to do it by hand. This is a bit of an art… Still learning from my Mom! Cook this like a regular roti (with a little extra butter/ghee).

Hope you all enjoy your saag and makki ki roti!

“Gunjan- Isn’t that a guys name?”

My my! The questions that have been stalking me all twenty one years of my life are “Whats your name again?”,” Isn’t that a guys name?”…. This post just displays an individual frustrated with the same questions over and over again! I am hoping this tells people that GUNJAN IS A GIRLS NAME!

The whole wide world is okay when both girls and guys have names like Krishna, Surya or Kiran. But when they hear GUNJAN sabke paet mein dard kyon hoti hai?!?!  Aaaaarrrrrgggghhh! This is the something that has been annoying me all my life! Even as a kid I got fed up of people calling me weird variations of my name Kunjan, Kunchan, JUNJAN (that was the worst! ). It is totally annoying when people ask your name 10 times and then say ‘isn’t it a guys name?’. My first instinct is “BUZZ OFF!!!”. These people who say all this talk like they are masters in the language and know which word is feminine and which is masculine.

So for the information of all those people who are still not convinced… Gunjan is a feminine word!

Just for evidence sake I am citing this Hindi song “Bhawaron KI Gunjan” starring Randhir Kapoor and his wife Babita. Please pay attention it is ‘Bhawron KI Gunjan’ not ‘Bhwaron Ka Gunjan’…

As a kid I was frustrated that my family had to give me a name which came along with soo much explanation and confusion.As is a known fact that you tend to enjoy hard earned things more than what you take for granted! So fighting for my name actually got me more attached to it. And today I totally absolutely LOVE my name! (No I am not acting like the Kareena Kapoor of Jab we met but I LOVE it!!!! )…

I found another similar article and it is for a name Shrinidhi and here is the link to it…

I am hoping that the readers will think twice before asking questions anyone like “Isnt that a guys name again?”….

East Vs West- Dilemma’s of a NRI

I don’t know how this thought came up but I do think it was interesting one…. This is not about why we ape the west or the cliched stuff! It is just about the differences…. That’s why I call it Dilemma’s of a NRI!

Something I have never been able to understand about the way the human mind perceives things is that, why it always plunges to look for differences before discovering similarities? This makes the statement ‘humans are innately social’ sound plausible. If we humans were innately social beings, then wouldn’t we be looking for things that would help me identify with someone instead of the those that don’t? I just don’t seem to understand this!

(FYI, I am a north Indian born and brought up in South) For instance, when I meet someone from the south of India, they call me a North Indian while in the north i am known as a Madrasi. Who am I really? People in the south think I am not one of their kind while people in the north feel the same way. If this is the case in migrating from one part of the country to another, imagine migrating to another country all together! Phew! Another dilemma of a NRI, that which relates to what we love to have a big fat ego about-identity…

Ok, moving on… The next in the list is Arranged vs Love.This may not seem significant to a non-Indian but it makes a world of a difference here in India. Traditionally, a spouse is chosen by the family of the bride/groom. Many non-Indians have appreciated this because even if things dont go your way you always have your family to bank on and you WONT have to have sessions of  ”See… I told you” ‘s… It does remove the risk factor involved but what’s the fun!

Next being Wash Vs Wipe! Some people from the west are completely baffled seeing a bucket and a mug in the restroom and wonder its use while people from rural parts of the country do not get the logic of having paper in the toilet! Such a wide gulf even in following nature’s MOST basic rules…

Buckets Vs showers!
The MIGHTY Indian Bucket is the cynosure yet again! This is a mighty contender of essentials when it comes to the daily Indian routine. Even when it comes to the daily activity of bathing, the bucket makes its presence felt. Quite the contrary most english bathrooms lack this and rely heavily on showers.

Hand Vs Spoon
Coming to eating habits now… The desi Indian would any day prefer eating with their hand rather than using spoons, forks and knives… Even for me hunger is satiated only when I eat with my hand… I am a true DESI at heart!
On the other side, the west beliefs are it is unhygienic!

There are a lot of other differences but I guess I will stop here. If you can come up with any others let me know…